Hormonal stimulation, adolescent agitation, dating and sexual relations are the problems that teenagers have to face. Among all the choices we made, the author believes that this is the most important one. Because it affects not only yourself, but also others. Today, we will focus on how to deal with various problems in gender relations.
Today’s society has formulated two rules for dating: “be a partner” or “make physical contact”, which many people often accept without thinking. The result often leads to mental damage. Of course, you don’t have to accept this view. You can say goodbye to our culture and the stupid view of dating.
In the book, the author puts forward six guiding principles for teenagers’ dating, which is a summary of the intelligence gained from peers.
First, don’t date too early.
If you talk to any teenager who dates too early, they will say that they wish they could wait a little longer to start dating. If you date too early, you will fall into various problems, such as being taken advantage of by others, making physical contact too quickly, and not knowing how to end the relationship, etc. It’s a good rule of thumb to wait until you’re 16 to date.
Second, date your peers.
This is a companion to the first guiding principle. This applies especially to girls. Dating a boy two, three or four years older than you may make you feel flattered and complacent, which makes you very easy to be used. Why take this risk?
Third, try to meet many people.
Love seems to flow in our blood. We all want to find our soul mate and live a happy life from now on. Therefore, it is natural to fall in love with people we first know. When you are very serious about dating and begin to believe that the first person you fall in love with is the only partner in your ideal, can you realize the results of doing so? When you have just entered high school, the time is not ripe to determine a serious love relationship. At this age, you enjoy dating more than you promise future moments with a serious attitude. So don’t enter the adult world too early and enjoy your single time.
Fourth, group dating.
Group dating, whether it’s two couples dating or more people talking about love together, has many advantages and usually brings more fun. The more people, the safer it is. You will meet more people and your expectations will not be too high.
Fifth, determine your boundaries.
Decide now who you want to date and who you don’t want to date. Find out where you can go and what the final line is. Don’t let anyone persuade you to change your mind. Don’t delay until you are forced to make a decision, it will be too late. If you haven’t figured out what your boundaries are, sooner or later there will be unexpected situations. The best protective measure to prevent feelings from being hurt, unrealistic hopes from being generated, and illness, pregnancy, or annoying marriage proposals is to set personal standards for yourself. If someone has a bad reputation, don’t go out with them. A safe rule of thumb is: only date people who respect your standards, and they will make you a better person when you get along with them.
Sixth, make plans.
If you want to go out, you need to make a plan. If things don’t go well, you need to make a second plan. These principles can keep a relationship healthy, protect both parties from abusive relationships, and increase fun at the same time.
Balzac, a famous French writer, said, “whoever is good at waiting will come in time.”
The author puts forward in the book that love can wait. If you can’t find a positive answer to the question “why wait”, take a look at the author’s ideas.
First of all, waiting is for children.
The two major problems in life are how people get out of this world (die) and how people come to this world (born).
We are very concerned about how people leave the world. We have stipulated severe punishment for the crime of murder and do everything we can to prolong our life.
When someone dies, we mourn. However, we do not attach great importance to the problem of how people came to this world. Every year, countless babies are born unexpectedly all over the world, and more fetuses are aborted.
Every sexual act is like playing with fire, and there will always be a chance for the baby to be born. It is very unfair for a baby to be born without the care of a responsible father and the mother studying in middle school.
Some girls are pregnant simply because having a baby will attract attention and someone will love them. Maybe this is not wrong, but it is very unfair to babies.
They need to gain all the advantages to gain a foothold in the world. If you want your child to grow up in poverty, have a child in your teens. This is a sure way.
Many children grow up without a father. Fortunately, there are still many mothers, as single parents of their children, who have done a lot of outstanding work.
If you lack the care of your father in life, you will be a person who will turn the situation around and become the father of your own children, just as you always wish you had a father.
So don’t risk bringing children into the world. Leave the best chance of success to children. For the sake of children, wait!
Second, waiting is for sexual relations.
Both sexes begin with mutual attraction. There are many different things that attract us or “make us emotional”, a look, a posture, a voice, and so on. However, where the relationship will develop in the future depends entirely on us.
If you want to establish a real relationship, you will embark on a selfless love path. It is based on friendship, that is, not to know and like someone based on whether they can benefit from physical contact.
When you begin to know and care more about someone, when you understand his hopes and dreams, fears and beliefs, a love relationship will be formed. At this time, there may be some hugging and kissing actions, which are based on emotion rather than desire.
When you want to spend your life together by establishing a long-term relationship – usually called marriage – you enter into a responsible stage. At this stage, sex is good and satisfying. Therefore, the author puts forward in the book that waiting is waiting for a good marriage relationship.
Finally, waiting is for freedom.
When was the last time you flew a kite? Have you noticed that when the kite flies high, it is the tension of the line that makes it stay high in the air? If the binding line is cut, the kite will plunge to the ground.
The same is true of love. Restraint will keep love and sexual relations young. You may wonder, why not let the hormones of passion be released?
The answer is that rules and restrictions do not constrain us, but rather increase our freedom. If you follow the rules on sex, you might as well consider the freedom your choice brings to you. You don’t need to worry and regret, you won’t get sick, you won’t get pregnant, you won’t get complications, and you won’t take responsibility without preparation. So no matter what you do, don’t change your mind at the last moment. Real ladies and gentlemen don’t force you to do what you don’t want to do. Wait for freedom!
Love is worth waiting for. Here we have two choices. When we have a wise attitude towards dating, respect our bodies, and stick to our boundaries, love is not far away.
In this issue, we elaborated on the six guiding principles of dating and learned how to protect ourselves and deal with gender relations rationally. In addition, we re examined the true meaning of love in “love can wait”